SOME CLASSIC PRANKS

Tape down the phone button on the mark's phone. When they pick up the receiver it will keep ringing. Call in the middle of the night and pound on the door yelling "Answer the phone!" Use this along with hidden alarm clocks and coordinate the time, such as 2:30 am and pound on the front door, back door and have the phone ringing as well as the hidden alarm clocks.

This is a good prank to pull on a side street near a bar. Create a "barricade" of toilet paper stretched across the road. The drunk will come rolling up and step on the brakes to avoid breaking through the line. As an added touch, get a bright flashlight and shine it in the victim's eyes and ask for their license and registration.

I don't know where the name came from, but this is a harmless prank that's a lot of fun with a car load of people. While stopped for a red light, everybody gets out of the car and runs around the car a couple of times before getting back in the car and driving off. Repeat as needed to achieve the desired results.

Crickets released in an office can generate of lot of excitement. Crickets can be obtained from pet stores or some bait shops. Cut them lose before you go on vacation or when you have given your final notice.

Here's a simple prank that is always good for some cheap laughs. Place an object on the floor where you know someone will bend over to pick it up. This object could be a book, an important looking envelope, a purse, etc. Position yourself nearby with some scraps of cloth that tear easily with a noisy rip. You can also use a strip of velcro to create the tearing sound. The prank is simple. Just wait until the mark bends over to pick up the object. As with many pranks, the timing is critical. At the precise moment that the mark bends over, rip the cloth. You'll be surprised at how many people reach around immediately checking for rips.

This trick has been around for years and is commonly known as "pennying the door". This trick is used on a door that opens inward when the victim is inside, such as being asleep during the night. You need some pennies or washers or similar objects that will work as shims. On the side of the door where the handle is, push in at the top of the door and jam in as many pennies as you can between the door and the jamb. Do the same at the bottom of the door. When done properly, the shims will have the result of putting so much tension on the door that the victim will not be able to open it and will be trapped inside.

Here's another trick to pull on a door that opens inward when the victim is inside, such as during the night. Tape newspaper over the door frame, leaving an opening at the top. Now fill the space with styrofoam peanuts, little balls of paper, popcorn, etc. and then finish closing off the opening. When the mark opens the door, a partial vacuum is created and the stuff will fly all over the room.

Fill some disposable cups about halfway with confetti (or paper, or whatever.) Turn off the ceiling fan. Gently lay the cups (on their sides) on top of each of the fan blades. Tape or rubber-band them in place. Wait for someone to turn on the fan!

This is an old trick, but it always works. Glue a quarter to the ground at the mall or on a busy sidewalk. Epoxy works the best, but takes some time to set up. Cover the coin with a traffic cone, plant, or other object while the glue cures. Once it's ready position yourself to enjoy the spectacle of suckers trying to pick up the money. You will notice different styles, i.e. the cool and casual pick-up, the frantic and deliberate attempt, the half-hearted try, etc.

This trick was one of Bruce's regulars that he loved to torture people with when he went out to a nice restaurant. He would tape a one hundred dollar bill securely to the bottom of his shoe. Then he would walk all around the restaurant, into the rest room, all over until he finally picked up a mark. Then the conversation would inevitably go like this:
"Excuse me sir, but you have a hundred dollar bill on the bottom of your shoe."
"WHAT!?" Bruce would exclaim, picking up the "wrong" foot. "There's no money! What are you talking about!!"
At that he would quickly walk back to his table. The mark, thoroughly hooked by this point, would follow him and continue the plea. "But sir," the mark would usually go, "it's on the other shoe!"
"Waiter!" Bruce would call out at this point. "Waiter! I'm just trying to enjoy my dinner here and this man keeps following me around, bothering me. What kind of place is this?"
While the waiter was having words with the mark, Bruce would remove the hundred dollar bill and continue his protest: "I'm just trying to enjoy my dinner..."
The mark would then see that the bill was missing and usually start looking around on the floor, totally bewildered by this point.

If you live in an area with a lot of birds you can cause many feathered friends to visit the victim's house or car. Simply spread generous amounts of wild bird seed, bread, or popcorn over the desired target area. One prankster reportedly used a sling shot to deliver large numbers of bread balls over a security fence of someone who had "done him wrong". You could really flock someone over with this trick.

This is a cure for noisy neighbors in an apartment building, you know, the rude jerks that are always blasting their radio or tv late at night so you can hear it right through the wall. Position your telephone next to the common wall -- you may have to use an extension. Now create a simple amplifier with a box, a bucket, or a large pot. Enclose the phone in the box or pot and push it flush to the wall. You might have to use a chair or table to rig this up. Now test it out. Be sure to turn the volume of the ringer up to the max and have a friend call you when the neighbors are making a lot of noise. Let it ring for a while to enjoy the effect. For a special treat rig it up when you are going out for a while. Find a pay phone that doesn't get much use. Dial your number to start it ringing, then just walk away and leave the phone off the hook.

Put the name, address, and phone number of the mark on a hundred pieces of paper. Include information about a $25 reward for their return for a scientific study about wind currents. Attach these to helium balloons and turn them loose on a windy day. Or, instead of balloons, put the reward offers about ocean currents inside bottles and throw into the ocean. This could end up torturing the victim for months, even years.

On a buddy's car, run a jumper wire from their door dome light switch (the little plunger at the hinges) to the brake light switch under the dash around the brake pedal. Every time they hit the brakes, the dome light will go on - great at night!

Here's a practical joke for cars that you can pull If you have access to the victim's vehicle. This might be good for a "Just Married" sendoff. This particular trick requires some basic knowledge of car wiring. The first step is to obtain a car horn. You can get one at a junkyard for a couple of bucks. (Or you can buy a trick horn for that matter, with special sound effects). Next position the horn in the trunk of the car. Locate the brake light circuit and wire it to the horn. Every time the victim steps on the brake pedal the horn will honk in the trunk.

For my practical joke, you need a roommate and a room (preferably the kitchen) with only one door. One night while they're sleeping, tape plastic wrap all over the doorway, with you on the inside of the room. Turn off the power so they can't turn on the lights. Make a racket (like pots and pans falling all over the place) and yell for help ("I've fallen and I can't get up"). When your roommate comes running to help you, they bounce off the plastic wrap they can't see. Have a camera ready to get a picture of their reaction!

Here's a little trick that can be beneficial to society by helping to keep drunks off the roads. The victim in this case is a drunk who shouldn't be driving anyway. Locate the drunk's car at his local watering hole. Come supplied with a good jack and several blocks of wood. Jack up the back end of the car (or front end for front wheel drives) and place wood blocks under the car to keep the tires an inch or so off the ground. The drunk will come staggering to his vehicle, start it up, but then his wheels will spin but he won't go anywhere. Maybe he'll get the message.

After seeing the movie "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert" and the famous ping-pong ball scene, I filled my sister's kitchen cabinet with ping pong balls on my departure from a visit to her home. Wow! She opened it up and as they rained down on her, she laughed her butt off!

My wife wastes a lot of money on the lottery. One Sunday I got her good. I got up early, got the winning numbers from the paper and put the paper back in the bag. Then I went to the store and wasted a buck on those winning numbers for the next week's draw. I mixed this "ringer" ticket in with the 20 she already had. When she got up and checked her numbers she went crazy. After a while I finally told her to check the date. I think it was about a week before she finally started speaking to me again.

Certain car mechanics have been know to inflict this torture upon customers who are extremely annoying. While under the car apply a zip strip (plastic cable tie) around the drive shaft. This is harmless but will produce a constant ticking sound from underneath the car. A variation is to cut the end of the zip strip just short of hitting the floor so that the ticking only takes place while driving over bumps.

A friend of mine pulled off this trick which he said he learned in Penn and Teller's book, "How To Play With Your Food". At a Chinese restaurant with a group of people he opened his fortune cookie and threw the message down in disgust, saying "I knew I shouldn't have eaten here". When another guest picked up the fortune it read: "The Chef spit in your food". My friend had eaten at this restaurant before and copied the format of the fortune cookie message and duplicated it on his computer with custom messages.

Here's a harmless little prank that's always good for a laugh. Leave someone an urgent message to return a phone call from a Mr. Lord. Put the phone number from Dial-A-Prayer on this message. Most city phone directories have Dial-A-Prayer numbers listed. This also works for Mr. T. O'Day (time of day) or Mr. Weathers (weather number). Also call the local zoo and ask for Mr. Lyon. Leave these messages on answering machines too.

There was a row of shops in a big long metal building and these two guys got into a noise war. One kept blaring his music, even though his neighbor asked him a number of times to keep it down. So the other guy finally takes action. He gets one of those super loud phone buzzers that you hear out on car lots. So he puts this inside a 55 gallon drum and fastens the opening against the common wall. Now, whenever his phone rings, there's a horrendous noise coming out of the neighbor's wall, way more powerful than the music. On top of that, this guy will drive down the street, sit in his van with binoculars to observe and then call his phone number on a cell phone. He will also go to a pay phone, dial his number and just walk away and leave the phone off the hook.

This is a trick you can pull with the sprayers that are on sinks on pull-out hoses. Put a rubber band or piece of tape around the lever so that it's locked the "on" position. Aim it towards where you're standing, to where you want it to hit the victim. The next person to turn the water on will get sprayed.

Torture the sports fan by replacing pages in the newspaper with pages from last week. Do the same for fans of the comics or Dear Abby.

Send in a money order to place an ad with the victim's phone number. Generate some excitement by advertising cheap guns. Or how about a Corvette for $500? Or free rent in a house at the beach in exchange for some painting. How about a nice boat for $200? Or hold a garage sale with amazing bargains. Be sure to encourage early birds and early callers.

At a party have several people take turns calling the mark on the telephone asking for "Bubba". Do this all night long. Finally, call one more time and say: "This is Bubba -- are there any messages for me?"

Find a fresh road kill and tie it to a rope or leash. Now attach this to the drunk's back bumper and push it under the car so he won't notice it until he's driving along.

Here's a good rainy day joke. Put rice or confetti in someone's umbrella when they aren't looking. As soon as they step outside and open it up they are in for a surprise. Works great if they don't use the umbrella for a while too because they can't figure out how the stuff got in there if it was in their car or home for a week or so.

This is an old trick, but is always good for a cheap laugh. While the victim is sleeping, put shaving cream all over his hands and then tickle his face with a feather. He'll end up with a face full of shaving cream and it will all be his doing.

This is an oldie but is still always good for a laugh. Un-tuck the bed sheet at the foot of the bed. Pull it up about a third of the way towards the head of the bed and tuck it back in. When the mark slides into bed he won't be able to stretch his legs out, sort of like he jumped into a baby's bed.

Here's an obnoxious little prank known as "the sneeze". It's always good for a cheap laugh and it's harmless. Cup some water in your hand. Now sneak up behind your victim and sneeze loudly. At the same instant splash water on the victim's neck. They will be disgusted to think that you slobbered all over them in such an uncouth manner.

Appliance timers can provide cheap thrills for the practical joker. Hook up the mark's stereo to go off full blast in the middle of the night. Try it on the TV as well or on a bright light.

Here's one to use during political campaigns. The sign says Candidate X loves your city, only the "love" is a heart. Get a graphic of a wood screw from clip art sources. Expand the size and add an apostrophe S and now glue these over city-wide campaign signs.

Prepare some paper with the word VOID in large font. Shuffle these into the pile inside the copier. Or, get a joke rubber stamp that says "FILE UNDER BULLSHIT" and stamp a few random pages.

Get 40 or 50 paper cups filled with about 3/4 of the way up with water and arrange them on the victim's desk, table or floor. Arrange all the cups into a big cluster. Now staple them all together near the top of the cup. Now the victim is faced with the dilemma of how to remove all these filled cups without spilling water all over the place.

While the mark is away from his office or cubicle, cover the holes on the telephone ear piece neatly with scotch tape. When they return to their desk call them over and over. You'll be surprised at how efficiently the tape will block out sound. Another popular phone prank is to tape down the button under the receiver. Now call repeatedly and the phone will not stop ringing even when the victim picks up the receiver. Try this prank from a neighboring office or cubicle and keep yelling at the victim: "Answer your #@?!&^ phone!!!"