- A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
- A day without sunshine is like... night
- A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste
- A fool and his money are a girl's best friend.
- A man and his truck. It's a beautiful thing
- A woman & her truck -- It's a beautiful thing
- Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy.
- Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.
- All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
- Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
- Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
- Answer my prayers...Steal this car
- Ask me about my vow of silence.
- Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- Auntie Em: Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. - Dorothy
- Ax Me About Ebonics
- Back off I'm gonna fart!
- Back Off! I'm a postal worker
- BAD COP! - NO DONUT!!!
- Bankrupted By Beanies
- Body by Nautilus; brain by Mattel
- Boldly Going Nowhere
- BROKE! Rob me only if you need the practice
- Car will explode upon impact
- Cat - The other white meat
- Caution - Driver just doesn't give a shit anymore
- CAUTION I BRAKE FOR HOOKERS
- Caution: Blonde Thinking
- Caution: Driver applying makeup
- CAUTION: Driver Singing
- Caution: I brake for no apparent reason.
- Caution: I can go from 0 to bitch in 2.5 seconds
- Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine
- Chaos, panic, and disorder -- my work here is done.
- Cigar smokers appreciate a great butt
- Clap one hand if you love Buddha
- Clear The Road I'm Sixteen
- Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
- Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!
- Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your ASS?
- DANGER: I drive like you do!
- DARE to keep cops off doughnuts.
- Death is life's way of telling you you're fired.
- Did you check if your horn works?
- DINNER IS READY WHEN THE SMOKE ALARM GOES OFF.
- DO NOT REMOVE. STICKER COVERS BIRD CRAP.
- DO NOT WASH. Vehicle is undergoing scientific dirt test
- Do they ever shut up on your planet?
- Don't Be Sexist - Broads Hate That
- Don't believe everything you hear or anything you say.
- Don't honk. Driver trying to sleep.
- Don't rush me! I get paid by the hour.
- Don't steal.. The government hates competition.
- Don't tailgate me or I'll flick a booger on your windshield
- Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
- Don't take my signals literally.
- DON'T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN.
- Driver carries only $20 in ammunition
- Dyslexics have more fnu.
- Dyslexics of the world, untie!
- Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
- Earth First We'll screw up the other planets later
- Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
- Even though this is a stupid sticker, You're squinting to read it.
- Every day I fish adds a year to my life
- Fight crime, shoot back
- Financial Whiz "Expert at Pissing Away Money"
- First Things First, but Not Necessarily in That Order
- Fish tremble at the sound of my name
- For a small town, this one sure has a lot of assholes
- GENERIC VIAGRA: MYCOXAFLOPIN
- Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
- God is my co-pilot, but the Devil is my bombardier.
- GOD MADE US SISTERS; PROZAC MADE US FRIENDS
- God wants spiritual fruits, not religious nuts.
- Got kleptomania? Take something for it.
- Gravity always gets me down.
- Gravity is a myth. The Earth sucks.
- Gravity...It's Not Just a Good Idea. It's the Law.
- Grow your own dope. Plant a man!
- Growing Old is Inevitable; Growing Up is Optional
- Gun control is being able to hit your target
- Gun control means using both hands
- Guns don't kill people. Postal workers do!
- Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW
- Harassing me about my smoking may be hazardous to your health
- Have you ever had deja vu? Have you ever had deja vu??
- He who hesitates is not only lost - but miles from the next exit.
- Heart Attacks... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends
- Help stamp out and eradicate superfluous redundancy.
- Help starve a feeding bureaucrat.
- Help wanted: telepath. You know where to apply.
- Honk if parts fall off!
- Honk if you don't give a damn
- Honk if you hate noise pollution
- Honk if you like peace and quiet.
- Honk if you love honking.
- Honk if you slept with Clinton!
- Honk if you're illiterate
- Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window
- Horn Broken, Watch For Finger
- HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY?
- How do I set a laser printer to stun?
- How Do I Spell Relief? F-A-R-T
- How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost?
- How's my driving Call 1-800-EAT-SHIT
- Huked on Fonix reely wurked fur me
- I am not an alcoholic. I'm a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings.
- I Believe in Tit for Tat. Want some Tat?
- I bitch therefore I am.
- I can go from zero to bitch in 2.2 seconds.
- I don't have to be dead to donate my organ.
- I don't know Jack Shit, but I met Diddly Squat
- I don't suffer from insanity -- I enjoy every minute of it
- I drive the speed limit. If you don't like it call a cop!
- I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol
- I fish, therefore, I lie.
- I have a computer, a vibrator and pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house?
- I have nothing against God. It's his followers that I can't stand.
- I have PMS and a hand gun. Any Questions??
- I Have The Body Of A God... Buddha
- I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere
- I intend to live forever - so far, so good
- I just do what the little voices tell me to do.
- I like cats, too. Let's exchange recipes.
- I LIKE EAGER BEAVERS
- I like you but I wouldn't want to see you working with sub-atomic particles.
- I love animals. I eat them and wear their skins.
- I love cats. They taste just like chicken.
- I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy
- I love my country... It's the government I'm afraid of
- I may be a cruel and heartless bitch, but I'm damn good at it!
- I may be fat, but you're ugly - I can lose weight!
- I may be slow but I'm in front of you.
- I plead contemporary insanity.
- I pretend to work. They pretend to pay.
- I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.
- i souport publik edekasion
- I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
- I suffer from C.R.S. Can't Remember Shit
- I Suffer Occasional Delusions of Adequacy
- I swerve and hit people at random
- I think you left the stove on.
- I thought I wanted a career Turns out I just wanted paychecks
- I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
- I Used To Be Schizophrenic, But We're OK Now
- I used to have a handle on life, but it broke
- I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
- I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure.
- I want to be just like Barbie. That Bitch has everything!
- I wasn't born a bitch. Men like you made me that way
- I'd smack you, but shit splatters
- If At First You Don't Succeed, Skydiving Isn't For You
- If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
- If everything is coming your way, then you're in the wrong lane.
- If God intended man to smoke, He would have set him on fire.
- If guns are outlawed, only outlaws will accidentally shoot their children
- If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong...
- If we are what we eat, I'm cheap, fast, and easy.
- If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
- If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?
- If you can read this, I am parked.
- If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!
- If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
- If you can read this, THEN GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY!!!
- If you can read this, you're in phaser range
- If you can't read this, you're illiterate.
- If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.
- If you don't like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk!
- If you lived in your car, you'd be home by now.
- IF YOU'RE RICH, I'M SINGLE
- Illiterate? Write For Help
- I'm hung like Einstein and smart as a horse
- I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up.
- I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week
- I'm not in heat SO GET OFF MY TAIL!
- I'm not really a driver. I just play one on TV.
- I'm not tailgating. I'm drafting!
- I'm objective. I object to everything.
- I'M ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE.
- I'm only a hypochondriac when I'm feeling sick.
- I'm only driving like this to piss you off
- I'm out of estrogen and I have a gun
- I'm surrounded by idiots!
- Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".
- It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
- It's Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now
- It's Called Tourist Season So Why Can't We Shoot 'Em?
- Jesus Loves You. Everyone else thinks you're an asshole
- Jesus Paid For Our Sins SO LET'S GET OUR MONEY'S WORTH
- Just say no to sex with pro-lifers.
- Laugh at your problems. Everyone else does
- Lead, Follow or Get the Hell Out of the Way
- Learn from your parent's mistakes - use birth control
- Liberal Arts Major... Will Think For Money
- Life is too complicated in the morning.
- Life isn't weird; it's the people in it.
- Life's a beach, and then you drown.
- Live long enough to be a problem to your kids.
- Look out! Behind you!
- Lord save me from your followers.
- Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math
- Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
- Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.
- Married men don't live longer. It only seems longer
- May the farts be with you
- Mean people suck.
- Mean people suck. Nice people swallow.
- Men are idiots and I married their king
- Men have feelings too, but who really cares?
- Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb!
- Money Talks. Mine always says goodbye
- My child is an honor student at the State correctional facility
- My Child was inmate of the month at county jail
- My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom
- My honor student fired your stupid kid
- My kid beat up your honor student
- My kid had sex with your honor student.
- My Mother Is A Travel Agent for Guilt Trips
- My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
- My other bumper sticker is funny.
- My other car is a broom
- My other car is a Zamboni
- My other vehicle is a Romulan Warbird!
- Never eat more than you can lift.
- Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid all together.
- Never Underestimate The Power Of Stupid People In Large Groups
- NEXT MOOD SWING: 6 MINUTES.
- No Radio - Already Stolen
- Nobody's perfect. I'm a Nobody.
- Nonconformists are all alike
- Now that you are on my ass you wanna get married?
- NUKE THE UNBORN GAY WHALES FOR JESUS
- Nuke the Whales.
- OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME.
- Old Age Comes at a Bad Time
- On the other hand, you have different fingers.
- Only one more shopping day left until tomorrow
- Orgasm Donor
- Peace Through Superior Firepower
- Please don't hit me. I'm a pedestrian trapped in a car.
- PMS? Hell, this is one of my better days
- Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.
- PRINCESS, HAVING HAD SUFFICIENT EXPERIENCE WITH PRINCES, SEEKS FROG.
- Proud member of the vast right wing conspiracy
- Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of
- Quit honking, I'm reloading
- Real Men don't ask directions
- Reality is a figment of your imagination.
- Reality is a nice place, but I wouldn't want to live there.
- Reality? Is that where the pizza delivery guy comes from?
- Repetition is always better the second time.
- Safe Sex is in the palm of your hand
- Same shit. Different Millennium.
- Sarcasm - Just one more service I offer.
- Save a cow, eat a vegetarian
- SAVE THE WHALES Trade 'em for valuable prizes
- Save Your Breath ... You'll need it to blow up your date!
- Saw It... Wanted It... Had A Fit... Got It!
- Show Us Your Hooters
- SHUT UP AND FISH
- Smile and the world smiles with you. Fart and you stand alone.
- Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
- So few "Richards", So many Dicks
- So many cats, So few recipes!
- SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME.
- So you're a feminist... Isn't that cute!
- SORRY IF I LOOKED INTERESTED. I'M NOT.
- Stop Inbreeding! Ban country music.
- Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!
- Suburbia: Where they tear out the trees and name streets after them
- Support Cannibalism-EAT ME!
- Support mental health or I'll kill you
- Sure I know Jack Shit. I divorced him
- Sure you can trust the government! Just ask an Indian!
- Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either!
- Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion.
- Thank You For Pot Smoking.
- The Earth Is Full - Go Home
- The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name
- The kids drive me crazy. I drive them everywhere
- The More I get Bald, The More I get Head.
- The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
- The Opposite of progress is congress
- The Schizophrenic: An Unauthorized Autobiography
- The world is coming to an end. Please log off.
- They told me I was gullible... and I believed them.
- This is not an abandoned vehicle
- This truck belongs to me... Everything else belongs to her
- This vehicle stops at all garage sales
- This was only a test; if this had been a real emergency, you'd be dead.
- This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me
- Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
- Time is what keeps things from happening all at once.
- To err is human. To forgive is not Company Policy.
- Today's subliminal message is: ( )
- Too Close for Missiles, Switching to Guns
- Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
- Unless you're a hemorrhoid, Stay off my ass!
- Veni, Vedi, Visa: I came. I Saw. I Did a Little Shopping.
- Viagra... One pill and you can outdo Bill!
- Visualize using your turn signal
- Want a taste of religion? Bite a minister.
- WARNING:I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT.
- What Has Four Legs And An Arm? A Happy Pit Bull
- What if the Hokey Pokey is what it's all about?
- What if there were no hypothetical questions?
- WHAT PART OF GET THE HELL OUTTA MY WAY DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?
- When evolution is outlawed, only outlaws' children will evolve.
- When I Married Mr. Right I Didn't Know His First Name Was Always
- Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket?
- Where the hell is Easy Street?
- Why am I the only one on the planet who knows how to drive?
- Will work for food, will beg for sex
- With guns, trucks, and beer, Who needs women?
- Woman come and go, but...you can rely on a truck
- Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition
- Work harder. Millions on welfare depend on you!
- Work is for people who don't know how to fish
- Yes, as a matter of fact, I do own the whole damn road
- Yesterday is a memory. Tomorrow is a vision. Today's a bitch!
- You are depriving some poor village of its IDIOT.
- YOU ARE HERE!
- You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.
- You can't be late until you show up.
- YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, SO PLEASE SHUT UP.
- You have to be real secure to be seen in a car like this
- You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing
- Your Body Is a Temple Mine's an Amusement Park
- Your kid's an honor student, But You're a moron
- Your lucky number is 32345543423225. Watch for it everywhere.
- Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.
- You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
|